so sick of being sick

less than a week before christmas, mikey got sick. it was worse than just a cold, so we took him in and low and behold - he had strep. at that time, henry was a little wheezy from a cold and was put on his nebulizer for a week for breathing treatments. by christmas eve morning, my throat hurt so bad i wanted to die. i had strep too. my family told me i'd be feeling better by christmas morning, but they were wrong. very wrong. it took 4 days ON ANTIBIOTICS to get feeling better. not great, just better. the day after christmas garrett was diagnosed with strep. right around the time my antibiotics were over for strep, i started feeling weird. a weird stomach ache/cramps that i didn't know what to do about. i didn't say much about it at first. i just had weird pains... looking back now if i ever get those pains again, i'll go straight to the urologist. around the time i had the weird pains start, one night i felt like i had to pee constantly. the next morning i went to the doc and said, "i have a bladder infection." there was blood in my urine but i wasn't showing lots of symptoms for bladder infections, but they treated me for one because of the blood and the frequency of going. by the time that was over with, i swear i felt like i was best friends with my doctor. we had scheduled a physical in order to get a biometric screening done for a huge discount for our medical insurance. i finished my last antibiotic for the bladder infection on friday afternoon. saturday morning was the physical. we talked about the weird pain i was having - she thought it might be an ovarian cyst - not much you can do for those, but suffer the pain unless they are really big and then they do a surgery. i was also diagnosed with round two of strep. and she warned me that if i have strep again right away, i'd need to see an ENT. [ear, nose, and throat specialist]

early monday morning, i woke up with the pain amped up about 100 times and then the vomiting started. i was beside myself. i seriously thought i was dying. i called my parents and asked them to come help me. by the time they got here, it was pretty much decided that i couldn't wait for the doctor's office to open, i needed to go to the ER. off we went. i couldn't even sit down - that pain is like nothing i've ever felt. and i couldn't stop barfing. we went to the ER and after a few hours they figured out that it was kidney stones. boy, pain killers can sure be a life saver. i vaguely remember the morphine getting into my veins the first time and being able to just relax a little. it didn't take the pain away, i just could stop. stop panicking, stop vomiting, stop so miserable. i think i even calmed down enough to fall asleep for a few minutes. they sent me home monday afternoon with instructions to get to the urologist tomorrow. i did. we found out that day that the hospital wasn't in network with our insurance [whoops, that was a mistake, we thought it was] and we needed to go to a different hospital [better in our opinion, but further away...] and that surgery would be necessary within a few days. my kidney stoneS were large. on the right side, both were bigger than what can be passed. [found out a few days later that i also have kidney stones on the left kidney, but they won't do both kidneys at once - risk of renal failure, so they wait a month.]

did i mention that while throwing up on monday morning i ruptured my eardrum? it was slightly infected, along with the strep. i've never ruptured an ear drum before - it hurts terribly. sharp pain in the ear and loss of hearing. takes about 4 - 6 weeks to recover. not much you can do there for it. super awesome. 

they called me wednesday early afternoon to tell me that surgery was going to be friday, and that i needed to stop taking ibuprofen. i could continue my narcotic, but i needed both narcotic and ibuprofen to manage the pain. wednesday was also henry's 1st birthday. we had invited our whole family on both sides over for dinner. i had downgraded the party to just cake on tuesday, as i was not feeling well. the pain meds were working, but no one should throw a birthday party on pain killers. ha. before the party started that evening, i knew i was doomed. i vomited once, but felt better after. my pain was increasing as the minutes ticked on. my parents and garrett did EVERYTHING for that party. my mom decorated the cakes. she helped garrett with decorations. my dad cleaned and helped with the kids. i layed on the couch barking orders and feeling like crap. i knew i was going to need to go back to the hospital, i just didn't know when. i knew i wasn't going to make it til friday.  the party happened. i was there physically at least, probably not really mentally though. everyone left pretty early and i was in bed by 8 pm. 

2 am thursday morning came around and i was awake. the pain was becoming intolerable again. i felt nauseated. [you can really tell a difference without the ibuprofen!]  i tossed and turned for a while until i finally woke up garrett and said, "i think i'm going to need to go back to the hospital this morning. i can't take it." he wondered why we should wait. i didn't even hesitate, and said, "you're right. i'll call my parents." my dad answered at 2:36 and they were here by 3. by the time they pulled up, i was such a wreck that i was waiting outside for them. we jumped in the car, they took over the boys for the next 36+ hours. my parents are saints. they are life savers. there is no one out there that i would've felt comfortable leaving my babies with like that. they know the kids, they know their drill, i knew they would all be fine. 

i spent a few hours in the ER and then by late morning they admitted me to the hospital until after the surgery the following day. i was in the hospital until after the surgery friday afternoon. late afternoon. as in no food or drink all day. its a good thing i've got a little meat on my bones - i survived. 

the surgery wasn't bad. i was out for it. ha. [the anesthesiologist was a little bit rude to me, basically treated me like a crack whore. but that's another store for another time] the recovery hasn't been fun. its been 10 days now & i still don't feel great. i'm not terrible anymore, but there has been pain. bad enough that i've contemplated the ER again, had i not been warned that it could get bad... the stent hurt and was very uncomfortable. the removal was a little scary but the 4 -5 days after that were worse. talk about over active bladder and cramping again! pain killers are a good thing, let me tell you. 

the good news is i am a ticking time bomb until the end of february - when my next surgery is. hopefully then i won't need the stent after. i shouldn't, based on my knowledge of why i got the first one and what the situation on lefty is. 

since january 1 - i have lost 10 pounds. mostly from not eating and being sick. when i have eaten, i've tried to eat better. i was planning on doing a 30 day smoothie challenge. it hasn't happened. i've made more smoothies this month than i had for months, but it surely isn't enough. i have indulged in some comfort eating, but you know what? i've been miserable. i could've done better, but i sure as hell could've done a lot worse! i haven't felt good enough to exercise yet... that is a february goal now. i am proud of myself because i have lost weight, despite all of this crap. i easily could've clogged more arteries and comforted myself more. i'm not beating myself up for what hasn't happened, i'm just continuing to try to do better and acknowledge what i have done. and i'm going to pray everyday that i never get kidney stones again. they're the worse. 

i've got 2 or so more days of antibiotics that they sent me home from the hospital with. for the strep and post surgery. yesterday i woke up with a cold coming on, which is super fun when you already have a clogged ear and pain there.  my throat doesn't hurt yet, but the second time i had strep i didn't even have a sore throat. just swollen glands. you could see the strep in the back of my throat. i'm too scared to even look at my throat now. i'm really hoping that i don't have strep again, cause we've blown through our flex spending money and i don't like our co-pay for specialists. 

oh and - henry is back on nebulizer treatments.

my advice: do not get kidney stones. 

their last few nights

this is the house i grew up in. this is where i was born and raised. this is where i had an ideal childhood, with amazing parents. they've sold it and are moving out to live very close to me in just a few days. 

it is a bittersweet moment in my life. i feel nostalgic to see that house go. to have it not be home anymore. but i'm so excited to have my parents close by. to be able to see them every day if i want to. to have my kids grow up having their grandma and grandpa very close by. [nana and papa are close by & we love that! two sets of grandparents? even better!]

my mom and i were just texting [talk about a modern day miracle - marleeny girl on an iphone!] about how this is one of their last few nights. my parents are exhausted from packing. for months, we've facetimed and they've asked if i want certain things; old toys mainly, some furniture. i've wanted to say yes to everything, but when my 1200 square foot house is pretty maxed out with 4 people in it, i've had to refrain. [don't worry, i've taken some things...] i can't wait til they're here and i can help them unpack and get settled. 

i grew up in this home where saturday mornings were cartoons, a fancy breakfast and then cleaning house. i grew up in this house cuddling my mom almost every morning until i started seminary. i grew up in this house sharing a room with my sisters. [i share with heather for most of my childhood, then a few years with holly] i grew up in this house being afraid of the basement. i grew up in this house with the most amazing, magical christmases you could imagine. i grew up in this house taking baths with my sister and being afraid of bats out side of windows. i grew up in this house having neighborhood wars with the neighborhood kids. i grew up in this house having family home evening - or S.A.M. as we called it. i grew up in this house where i was afraid of the step down living room when it was dark and i'd talk my dad into going upstairs with me when it was time to get ready for bed. i grew up in this house having my sister tell me stories to get me to go to sleep and sleeping sitting up when i was sick. i grew up in this house dusting, vacuuming and cleaning the bathrooms & re-doing it when i cut corners and my dad wasn't satisfied. i grew up in this house learning what "lengthen your stride" and "decide to decide" meant. i grew up in this house with an incredibly cheerful mom teaching seminary at a very early hour - wanting to hurt her for being too happy and loud when i was tired. i grew up in this house having family dinners where we talked about things and often i got told to not talk about bodily functions so much. i grew up in this house with parents who loved to high five each other, even when i was highly embarrassed, in fact - i'm pretty sure it was done to highly embarrass me. i grew up in this house where my mom made amazing cinnamon rolls. and gingerbread houses. and many other things. i grew up in this house lining up in the kitchen to kiss my dad when he got home. 

life was good on firestone drive. i'm so glad i had the childhood that i did, i was so blessed. i'm thankful for my parents - they're amazing people. i know they'll be missed. but they will be enjoyed out here, i promise. i think utah might finally start to feel like home to me now. so in the next few days, as i fight tears knowing that i will never go in that house again, i'll remember all of the wonderful things and smile. and then head over to my parents' new house and hug them. life will still be good, just on a different street.

this isn't my goodbye forever, chicago. 

thanks, gramma gramma!

we tried on the new hats that henry got from grandma this week. as you can see, his patience wore out as we went with putting on hats, but he looked so adorable in all of them! i know it makes me rotten, but i absolutely love that crying face. i'm excited for the mittens - once we start venturing out into the world a little more, he'll have something to keep his fingers warm! mommasita, you're the best - thank you so much!

henry's here!

henry atkin ward. 

born january 15, 2013

simply put - this baby is perfection. we're all having so much fun with him. he's delightful. healthy, happy and he smells like heaven. the c-section went well, i will go into that story another time. i just want to remember and point out that the whole experience was easier than mikey's. no NICU stays, no nurses that i wanted to kill, no NICU stay, even getting up out of bed the first time was much more pleasant, no NICU stay. did i mention he didn't go to the NICU? that part really means a lot to me. 

mikey is absolutely loving his baby brother. when he walks into the room, it doesn't matter who is there, what is going on - he wants to know where his brother is. "where's baby henry?" mikey calls him names that he hears me calling them like "sweetie", "honey", and "sweetheart". which i think is pretty adorable. he loves to sniff henry the way i do, and he rubs his face all over him, kissing him pretty constantly. he said, "i got you baby henry, i promise!" when henry was crying at the hospital.

my parents were both here til sunday and then my mom had to go home. boo. we miss her.  i've got my dad for another day or two. he's a huge help with mikey and the rest of us. i feel like we've got a personal servant running around taking care of all of us. he's even gotten my car washed and just this morning he went down in the frigid cold and washed windows on the car. i cried when neddie left, and i'll cry when my dad leaves, too. they're moving out here soon though - i keep reminding myself of that and it makes it a little better.

i'm recovering well. i feel good about where i am and what i can do and how i feel compared to how many pain killers i'm on. [i'm trying to cut out the perky right now and just do motrin...  we'll see how that works. so far so good - no perky since last night... once my dad leaves i might have a little relapse.]

henry sleeps and eats and poops and pees. if you're lucky, you'll catch a dreaming smile. he's lovely. his little cry, though we don't hear it too often is fierce when it happens. we're learning quickly that henry is more of a pee-er than mikey was.  last night, henry peed over his own head and as it lost strength, all over his own face.  luckily he was about to get a tubby. this morning he got himself and mikey, which prompted a "holy crap" out of mikey. he lost 11% of his birth weight before we left the hospital, but we went to the dr to get his weight checked yesterday & he's gaining now.  not quite up to birth weight, but making good progress. we don't have to wake him up anymore in the night. last night - he slept for a little over 4 hours before he wanted to eat again. i'll take that.

[photo taken by my nephew, connor... i think he's inherited the photog talent from his mom!]

henry is one week old today. why does it have to go so fast? why couldn't pregnancy go this fast? yes, i'm more than thrilled to be done being pregnant. we're all adjusting nicely... if we can get mikey's new little cold to go away and have him resting better. he's been a little naughty towards pretty much anyone besides henry the last few days. i don't love that part. but i know he's adjusting and tired and a little sick. i feel really sympathetic for him until he hits my dad and then i want to kick his little behind. :)

ok, there is more to write about, but my dad left with mikey and i've got some project life catching up and some rest to take advantage of. might even squeeze in a nice long shower! 

the last 2 months in photos - not in order

 watching jake on my phone.

 playing outside during a november snowstorm

 snuggling dada

 mama likey the "fidge" as mikey calls it. he likes it too. 

 now, it is on the ipad. we might change his name to ted. 

 heather's, holly's and mine @ st. george temple

 thanksgiving afternoon during a rough game of hide and seek, hayden came down bleeding from the head. 

 i adore hannah. she's a lovely, sweet, beautiful teenager - a rare treat in my opinion. and not just because she was rubbing my feet. 

 me at 32 weeks preggers (yesterday), desperately searching for an outfit to wear to church. i texted this to holly for permission. i wore it, so don't tell me if it didn't work. 

 mckay and sindi got married at the beginning of november. 

 halloween - it was a lovely day.

 one sunday afternoon i think in october, we went to a park. it was a nice day.

 my mom, sisters and the ladies from "our best bites" during time out for women, our little over night/weekend away/ to celebrate my mom's birthday. it was so much fun to be with the sisters and parental unit.

mikey wanted to wear his costume over to show grandpa right before halloween. 

thoughts on a mother's day

• i'm grateful i have my mommasita. she's one of my best friends and she has set a fabulous example all of my life. she laughs with and at me. she's one of my favorite travel buddies. she never let me be too naughty. i love her & am excited to squeeze on her this week.
• i love being a mom. it is something that i knew i always wanted but spent a long time fearing i wouldn't get the chance. it is better than i expected. i love having a husband and a family of my own.
• today during primary, garrett told our kids about when he and my dad gave mikey a blessing when he was about 24 hours old, before he was whisked away to primary children's hospital. he was talking about how priesthood blessings can heal the sick. i'm so thankful to have the gospel and the priesthood in our home. i was crying during his story and was so thankful for my baby who is healthy. 
• it took me almost a month to read my last book - which was very good, but i've been busy and tired. i hope the next one doesn't take as long. i've got a few books in my stack waiting for me to get to.
• this weather that we've been having is wonderful. we spend time outside playing at the park everyday. mikey is in heaven.
• at bedtime, when i get to put him to bed after some books, i'll let mikey snuggle for a minute before putting him in his crib. he snuggles into my shoulder like a pro. when i ask for kisses, he gives me as many as i'd like. it is the best part of my day. it has become a game. if i wait too long to ask for the next kiss, he'll say "kiss?" and give me one. 
• i'm excited for my steak dinner tonight at family night. which reminds me, i'm so glad that garrett has a wonderful mom, too. i know she played a key role in producing the wonderful man that i'm married to.

happy easter!

we had a lovely day yesterday with garrett's family celebrating easter. we've been to henefer. we've looked at model homes so my mom can think about moving out here. mikey didn't love nursery today. i found him sobbing halfway through and rescued him. it was all i could do not to break down, too. his schedule has been so off the last few days - poor kid, he's so tired. we had a delicious meal tonight - steak and cheesy olive bread. i'm about to go serve some cheesecake in a few. tomorrow we're going to city creek for my mom and hopefully we'll go see some more graves for my dad. i am in hog's heaven! [i took today off from the shred. this is the only day i'm missing.]

my weekend in chicago

remember when i was having a sappy, sentimental moment about my dad? all of that was true. i only let out one little bit. when i said, "i wish i could be there" - i was trickin' you. i was going to be there. all of us were. in fact, there was never a time we weren't going to be there, pending flight cancellations that we were threatened with thursday night. as soon as my dad announced he was retiring, we all got to planning a trip home. we were all so excited. we knew we were going to knock his socks off. and boy did we ever. but i'll get to that part in a little bit.

heather arrived first, heidi & i flew in a little less than an hour later and we all headed towards the sears tower. my mom was downtown having lunch with my dad on his last day, which is kind of a funny story in and of itself and they weren't back yet, so we ran around the corner and grabbed some deep dish pizza for lunch. nothing like chicago pizza [and food, in general!] and boy did we get plenty over the weekend. i could do a whole post about the food alone. while we were at lunch, holly landed and started her trek to the sears. my mom's security got a little mixed up so my dad left her down in the lobby as we waited for that to get worked out. finally, she was up and we met holly in the lobby of the sear's tower. we had to get security passes and get through security and by the time we were getting to the elevator banks, a lady from my dad's office came down to meet us and show us where we were supposed to go. all of a sudden, my parents step off the elevator and rounded turned in the opposite direction of where we were standing or else the surprise would've happened right then and there.  we all freaked out because we almost got caught. the lady, kim told us that they were headed over to the other elevator banks and that we'd be fine, so we relaxed a little. 

all of a sudden, i was staring at my dad though, as they rounded the corner again. he gave me the most confused look i have ever gotten from him. heather and i were standing right there, there was no avoiding it, he walked right upon us. he later said that he recognized kim but that he didn't know who i was. the first words out of his mouth were "you're not supposed to be here."  he was in shock. he just couldn't place us there. it was really quite funny. finally heather started yelling "surprise! surprise!" and we all caught on to what was happening. we definitely surprised him!

the work party was pretty amazing. big wigs from united came and talked about what a guy he is. his hard work, his dedication, his abilities, his heart & sense of humor. all things we all know, but love to hear. he got awards and presents. stories shared that we all laughed through. his boss had flowers for my mom and us girls, which was incredibly thoughtful. [she was the only person in on the secret, my mom needed her to help us with security and just to help work out the kinks of the details. she really came through on her end, too.]

after the party, we headed over to a greek restaurant with a bunch of my dad's friends who came into the city for his party. it was an adventure to get there but the food was delicious and it was nice to warm up. we eventually got on the metra and headed home. 

saturday we grocery shopped and got the house ready for my mom's party on saturday night. it was a hopping party, too. lots and lots of my dad's old work friends and old family friends came. it was so much fun to visit with everyone. the food was delicious, too. it took all 6 of us to keep people greeted, coats put away and entertained - it was crazy.

sunday was our day to relax and just enjoy being together. [not that we hadn't been enjoying all along.] the girls out voted my parents and we said, "sorry but no church & we're going sinning." we had shopping and more food we wanted to enjoy. we hit woodfield and lou malnati's. it was such a fun day. i loved being with my parents and my sisters. we haven't all been together since mikey's blessing. and i don't think we've ever been just the "core" family since heidi left for college. it was a treat. we never once went to bed before midnight. it was surely not a weekend for sleep!

the only hard part of the weekend for me was leaving my boys. i hadn't left mikey before. the last few days up until i left were hard. everytime mikey was sweet or cute, i'd break down and think, "i can't leave him!" but i knew i had to. i survived with only a few minutes while i was gone where i cried. thank heavens garrett was so good to me, sending me pictures and videos of their weekend. i watched and rewatched them almost constantly. i knew all along that mikey would be fine - he'd be with his dad. i knew garrett would be fine, he's a pro. i just didn't know if i'd be fine, but i was ok.

 

all in all, it was an amazing weekend. i'm so glad i was able to go and be a part of my dad's last day of work. i'm so thankful for united and for the life we've had because of it. i'm excited to see what this next chapter in life brings for him - i expect him out here for a few days with us no later than march. [dad, i'm not joking about that part.] i loved getting to spend time with my parents and sisters. we definitely made memories!

here go, neddie:

i got an email from my mom this morning telling me that she needs some more pictures of mikey. i have been feeling bad. now that "project life - mikey's first year" is over, i've definitely been relaxing about the camera. quite honestly, i haven't had the camera out because a lot of days, there just haven't been that many picture worthy moments. the last few weeks, really - since we've been home from our vacation - have been tough. for mikey and for me. he caught a runny nose while we were up there and somewhere along the way has developed an ear infection. but, like me, he doesn't run fevers...  so his sick behavior has been confusing to us and falsy interpreted as just hornery/fussiness. some days, he just crawls around [if you're really lucky he'll even drag his head because he's exhausted!] kinda grumpy and frustrated. our house is pretty well baby proofed, so when he swats at me and scratches my face, i've backed off and just let him kinda do his thing. it made me sad, but i was dreading that this was just a not so pleasant phase that we're entering into. i didn't want him to have a whole demeanor change but i was trying not to be too negative about it. though, quite honestly, it has been bothering me. there has been a time or two that i shed a tear while complaining to garrett about how this isn't as fun a stage for me, that all of a sudden it all seems like a lot harder work. not that he's been completely rotten, he hasn't. it has just been less pleasant. harder. stressful for me. and now, we realize - more than just teething pain and unpleasantness. so now, i've got a good healthy dose of guilt to deal with. 

my baby should still be napping & probably will once this antibiotic kicks in. he should still be playing with toys. he should still like his momma. he'll stop yelling at me all of the time. i just need to be more in tuned. not feel embarrassed about taking him in to have his ears checked, when he's had a runny nose. he doesn't get fevers, neither do i. i have to remember that. i don't have to just put up with unpleasantness. all in all, we'll get through this. and i'm glad garrett said that i need to take him in yesterday, because i was fighting it. thanks, love.

right now, mikey and i are going to go cuddle up on the couch and watch a show i've dvr-ed from animal planet. this kid is big into "gogs" right now. all animals are dogs - "gogs" and he gets very excited about them. maybe if i'm lucky, he'll go down for a nap later. we'll see. 

and momma, i'll try to be better with posting pictures. xo.

just so you don't think i torture him:

look at that mouth. he's constantly sucking in his bottom lip now. and those eyes. goodness. 

thanks, momma. we love it! he'll be wearing the rest of it tomorrow! ;)

a little about my dad

[picture stolen from hojo's blog]

i'm told not all girls have dad's as amazing as i do. i'm told some dads aren't that interesting, funny or responsive. i wouldn't really know though. my dad has always been entertaining, supportive, and involved.

i know i've said this before, but my dad rocks. i love him. i'm especially grateful for him lately, as he's been taking extra good care of my momma.

about a month ago, my mom's back went out. 2 new herniated disks and arthritis in her spine. she's been flat on her back. she was in the hospital. she's been in miserable pain. she's finally starting to feel a tiny little bit better. she can walk around a little bit. she can sit up for a little while. she can at least be alone during the day.

my dad has cooked, shopped, cleaned - not something he doesn't normally do but i think still deserves a little extra notice, nursed, kept the house in order. basically he's learning what it's like to be wife. all the while, he's been working full time. his attitude has been positive and helpful. usually even cheerful, if not a little sassy. [what's new, right?]

i'm so lucky to have my dad. my mom is so lucky to have my dad. thank you dad, for putting up with all of the girls in your life. and for being an amazing dad. and husband.

and dad, i didn't just post about you today because you've been giving me grief about always talking about how much garrett's my favorite & you're not anymore. you're a safe 2nd .. until i have a kid. hahaha. will you be able to handle 3rd place? mom, can you get him into therapy? not an announcement.

i don't know where she was...

i called my mom & left a message this afternoon. she wasn't home & i didn't know why not. my message went a little something like this:

"hi mom, you must be at work or at a movie or something. just hope you're not out working the street corner."

she called me back a little while later. she said she laughed til she cried. i just like keeping her entertained. she can be such a priss - i mean, she only likes picnicing with a light jacket... but she's got a great sense of humor.

p.s. don't worry dad - she wasn't on the street corner.

p.p.s mom, wipe that prissy look off your face. you know you're doing it.

it's her birthday

this lady is my hero.

she's the happiest person i know.

she's a survivor.

she's a cook.

she keeps a clean house.

she laughs all of the time.

she is faithful.

she is an example.

she's gorgeous.

today, she's also the birthday girl.

Happy Birthday, Nedra.

Happy Mother's Day

last year when i said someday i hope to be half as good a momma as my neddie is, i didn't really think it was actually going to happen... this year, when i think about how in the far/near future i will be a momma [that isn't an announcement, don't read into it] i keep thinking that if i can just aim to do some of the things that she did - i'd be a great mom...

[this picture was taken by hojo, of course]

my mom believes in me. my mom laughs at me [even when maybe she shouldn't] and tells me i can do anything. she has supported me and helped me through the years. quite honestly, i think she's gotta be the strongest person alive - to survive 4 daughters. 4 head strung, opinionated daughters... who weren't always as nice as we should've been. i can only remember a few times where she put me in my place & let me tell you, they were all more than deserved...

now this year, as i'm learning about what being a wife is all about, i've reflected on my mom even more... she's been a wonderful wife to my dad. if i could be half as good a wife - then i'd probably have a pretty satisfied husband. she's done good to my dad. she's supported, she's enjoyed. even though sometimes i tease them about being embarrassed, they're best friends & aren't afraid to high five about it, either.

momma - thank you for the example you have set for me. in all ways. i love you. i'm glad that we're friends, too.

winter break from school

i feel like i don't talk as much about school this year, either. mostly because we're having a good year. these kids are wonderful, probably one of the best classes i've had. if not the best. there are some struggling readers, but most of them have made tremendous progress this year - i'm so proud of their hard work. but i don't have behavior problems, especially not like i've had in recent years... closest thing to a behavior problem is a little guy who has a pretty questionable home life, who is street smart & i worry about his future - but he hasn't given me trouble.

i'm going off track today. for a month. and while i'll REALLY ENJOY this break, i'm going to miss my students. they're a fun little bunch of buggers. there's a lot of personality, sweetness, and tenderness in our classroom. today, i was showered with lovely, thoughtful little gifts. and so many hugs. i hope i'm a good influence in their lives...

yesterday my parents stopped by my school on their way out of town & my dad read my kids a story, while my momma and i sat and listened... what a special memory for me & these kids. one of the kids commented that they wish they could hear another story from my dad later in the day, & i knew that my dad would enjoy hearing that... "what'd they think of my milli vanilli impression?" - right daddio? holly posted a sweet thought about my dad today. and when i saw the picture of my parents in my room this morning, i almost started to cry. i have amazing parents. some of my kids - they don't. i hope that they're safe & have a great christmas this year... i hope someone loves them the way my parents love(d) me.

I LOVE THE CHRISTMAS SEASON!!!

busy weekend

my mom made it out late thursday night - she spent the whole day at the airport trying to get out here. standby flying definitely has its disadvantages. but she made it finally. friday, we busted our chops and got many plans organized. friday night, my dad also was able to come out and join us. saturday we spent time with heidi & family. saturday night, garrett's parents, my parents & me & garrett went to dinner. that was fun - and went very smoothly. this morning, my dad made the butt crack of dawn flight, but my mom didn't. so went back to the airport & got her. she'll try again tomorrow. we got to go to church at heidi's ward, where emma was playing the piano in sacrament meeting. that girl is amazing. this afternoon, my mom is learning about the ritual of laze that garrett and i have perfected. eating, napping, more eating. i'm so glad i have another week off track. i've got more exercising to do, napping, and whatnot. ;) hope you had a good weekend, too.

oh & i made it through the weekend with no dr pepper, too. that's 10 days folks! amazing!

happy birthday momma

To those of you who don't know, Nedra is my mom's first name. She's always gone by her middle name, Marleen... But as her cruel daughters, my sisters and i enjoy throwing out a little Ned, Nerd, Neddie, what have you. She takes it in stride, as she's taken most everything in stride. I tell you what - you have gotta be one of the strongest souls in the world, to survive having 4 daughters. She did it with flying colors. In fact, she made it look easy.

My mom is happily married to my dad, just another example of making things look easy. She is a fabulous homemaker, she's a fantastic cook, she's a smart little cookie, she's confident, she's spiritual, she's a survivor, she's a daughter, she's a sister, she's the best cuddlebug in the world, she's hilarious, she's jovial, she's peaceful, she's beautiful and she's happy. I have never met a sincerely more happy person than her. I admire that so much.

happy birthday woman, i love you.

small acts of kindness

still down in st. george... with the fam-damn-ily. living large (and by that i mean my belly) floating around in the pool as much as possible... enjoying these babies. but lets move on to the point of this post:

today - we hit lunch at a little pizza/pasta place right by hojo's. we're on our way out the door when my mom realizes that there are a pair of missionaries in line to order a lunch. all of a sudden my mom says, "i'm going to go buy their lunch!" and in she goes. she bought those little missionaries their lunch. i'm sure it made their day. it definitely made mine.

i love that about my mom. she loves the gospel. she's not obnoxious or pushy, but always willing to share. she's so willing to do big things & little things to help out. thanks momma for being an example to me today... its the little acts that mean so much.

i took my "big girl pills"

that's in quotes, cause i got it from kim. every time she says it - i giggle.

except for right now. i wanna cry. my parents left to go to florida today to go on another cruise with heidi's family today. at first, i was going to go. then i thought about it... and decided that no single, self supporting teacher with a mortgage & a car payment has any business going on another cruise, her second in 6 months. i could've made it work - financially that is. but it would've been hard. and i would've had to pinch many pennies. and the longer i thought about it, i thought - it'll be hard to miss out. but i decided to take my big girl pills & stay home. i heard from my parents as they were boarding their plane to florida. after i got off the phone, i almost cried. we had so much fun on our (last & only) cruise. i know what i'm missing out on with that crew. but i'll survive.

i'll stay home & get to sleep in my own bed, with my fabulous new mattress & hear no snoring. ever. i'll get to sleep in. no dad waking up at 5ish & then being banished to his window hole. and that's all that i can come up with for the plus side of things. d*^%it. i wish my list was longer. it would be a lot easier.

you know you're growing up (or have turned into an old hag) when you decide to NOT go on a cruise. i'm pretty sure being a kid was better.

now, i'm off to nurse my aching butt & back. i fell on my arse today. i was pissed. i missed my chair. and hit my back HARD on the chair that my hiney didn't make it into. i wish i could say that the kid that i had gotten up to yell at in the first place didn't get yelled at again... but he did. oops. but i was in pain!

happy mother's day

Some day I hope to be a mother... just half as good as the one I was blessed with.

Nedra, I love you. Thank you for everything!

(thank you holly for the picture!)