tonight i went to dinner with an old "friend" we dated in between the rat bastard's episodes of messing with my head. when he came back, i self destructed (i can admit that now) my relationship with all others. and proceeded to ruin a very fun, exciting relationship. we only dated for a few months, but in that time, we had so much fun. anyway, we found each other on lds singles yesterday & talked. decided to go to dinner this week, turns out that tonight was best for both of us. we sat and talked and laughed for 2 hours again tonight. i don't know what he thinks - i am pretty sure he wants nothing more than friendship from me & i honestly can't blame him. and i'm ok with that. he's entertaining. he's a volleyball coach for a living. he doesn't put up with crap from girls, but he also can be a great listener & is understanding. its like the best and worst of both worlds :)
then, and i don't want to say too much here, cause you never know who is reading - greg starts texting me tonight. greg. the one guy that i've had this crush on. the one guy, probably since i've known the rat bastard that stood a chance with capturing me. i mean, i've dated other guys & had fun, but i was definitely the one being chased. and this guy - i've put forth effort, without trying to make him feel like i've got our wedding invitations printed. i've tried to be all those things - friendly, playful, flirty; all that horseshit that i'm not in the mood at 28 to be anymore. bottom line: we're going out to dinner on wednesday. he's even picking me up. go figure. just when i quit him, he gets interested.
read this post quickly, cause it might get deleted :)