it has been 2 days, i'm sucking it up to share the details with the world.
monday my blood pressure was high. it was super high when the nurse first took my bp. she immediately had me lay down on my left side. the dr came in and checked me and we started talking. i was fighting tears. i knew the drill mostly - - same thing happened when i was pregnant with mikey. but in this case, he [the doctor] is a lot more serious about it because i have a 2 year old running around. bed rest. as much as possible. he knows it is hard, but incredibly important. weekly checks to check on me.
when the nurse came back in, it had gone down. from the dangerous high to a less dangerous high. still not good, but low enough they were willing to let me go home. i never asked they were planning on doing with me, especially with mikey there. i think i was just so relieved that they said i could go home, that i just got the heck out of dodge.
if my blood pressure is high again, i could be hospitalized, immediately & until the baby comes. i don't want that. at all. at all. the only way to end pre-eclampsia is delivering the baby. at some point the dr makes a decision - is the pre-eclampsia a bigger threat or is having the baby at this point - not a good situation either way. i get teary eyed just thinking about that. i've got 6 weeks left before a scheduled c-section. i really want to make it to january before having this kid. once january comes, i'll be 37 weeks and that is considered full term. obviously, january 15th is the target date - the longer this little boy stays inside, the better!
i know i've said a lot recently that i was so sick of being pregnant. it was true. i'm large, to say the least. i'm getting more and more uncomfortable every day, but as soon as the possibility of having to be hospitalized and/or having the baby come early - it scared the crap out of me and all i want to do is keep him cooking. i don't want this lil' guy to end up in the NICU. mikey was there for about 3 days and it was pure hell. i don't want any NICU time, let alone weeks or a month.
i am not scared about recovering from a c-section. i am scared about the NICU.
so for now, i'm going to put on my big girl pants. [no joke there, they are big right now!] i've cleared off my schedule. christmas concerts - no more. family events... get togethers of any kind - all will be on a "we'll see how i'm feeling that day" type of basis. i'm sad about these things. very sad. but it is more important for this baby to stay in and me out of the hospital. so i'm doing it. december is one of my favorite times of the year. but i'm trying to look at it differently now. people have the opportunity to serve us. and we've felt it. friends are bringing in dinner, which i feel a little guilty about - but i'm letting it happen. i'm not supposed to do much of anything. and garrett is a great cook, but he's gotta do his work all day long and then spend his evenings doing my work, too. so if he doesn't have to worry about dinner, great. people have offered to do things with mikey, in fact - liz just dropped mikey off after taking him for 2 hours. and as hard as it is for me to be away from mikey - yes i cried when he left - it is good for him. he's going to get very bored this next month of me laying on the couch. and i got to rest, so good for me and the baby too. mikey had a great time and hasn't stopped saying, "i want bradley back!"