and to think, i used to be afraid of the zombie apocolypse. who knew that a hair cut could be so devastating?

surely not me. i had hair almost to my boobs when i went in on saturday. i was ok with going about 3 inches shorter - same style, just cleaned up and thinned out a bit. i walked out in shock, not wanting to realize what had just happened to me. [i won't compare my haircut to date rape, because i'm not that trivial... but almost.]

she butchered me. she layered up the back so crazy like & short. incredibly short. like the layers started at eye level short. remember - i had long hair when i went in there. the back was left in a messy, oddly drastic a-line cut that stopped when it got to the sides. the sides - she left completely unblended. and uneven. and blunt. 

when i left, the first thing i did was put my hair up in a pony tail. cause i wanted to hide from the monster, maybe. sunday, i tried doing my hair for church & it was bad. reality was starting to set in. i tried to wear it wavy like normal & when i saw myself later in the mirror, i was horrified. horrified that people saw me at church and probably thought, "honey - you left the house like that? have you no shame?" it was bad.

this length surely doesn't flatter my chubby little face. in fact, i think it made it worse.  who wants a haircut that makes your face look even fatter?  awesome. so good for the self esteem, right?

monday i was hating life. i hated my hair. i hated that it took me the whole time mikey was napping to get it done. gone are the days of a quick shower and get dressed session. back are the days of sweating out a blow dry & flat iron session.  its fun to have underboob sweat, right? i keep telling myself this. 

tuesday, i was starting to feel depressed. every time i looked in the mirror, i thought the meanest and ugliest thoughts about myself. i know i can be hard on myself, self-deprecating. amplify it by 100. [add to the mess a lovely setting of no less than 5 huge, painful zits that i was getting. hormone much?] i got fed up. i called the salon. it is an aveda salon. i decided that nice, passive hayley had to shut the hell up & stand up for her self. 

i explained to the lady that answered that i had a butch job done and that i wanted it fixed. i no longer want to look like florence henderson in the back with dog ears in front. she giggled and set me up to get fixed tonight. 

the girl that fixed me - she's not 12, she's my age in fact - she sat me down and we talked about it. when i asked for a little validation, she agreed - horrible. and she said that that was being professional. she apologized and told me that in order to fix it, she was going to have to go even a little bit shorter, but that she'd try her hardest to leave length. and fix it she did. i left there tonight satisfied with the haircut that i now have. i may not be happy about it, but at least i don't feel absolutely ridiculous now. 

so i may not be able to pull it up into a pony tail anymore. its that short. and i may have to spend my whole time that mikey's napping doing it... but at least i am not a shame to myself when i walk out of my bathroom anymore. well, there is still the fat girl with boob sweat issue - but i'm working on that, too. 

i'll even go back to this new girl. megan. but i warned her that i'll be growing it out and to not expect me back in right away.  she said i was welcome. she fixed it & i appreciate it. she even sent me home with a bottle of hair product. that made momma happy.

don't ask for pictures. none were taken. even i don't hate myself that much. i seriously wanted to cry.


Sarah Young said...

Girl, I am with you. There are few things worse in life that a truly humiliating haircut. The worse part is you can't even play it off because it's sitting on top of your head for everyone to see!! One time I got my hair cut and told the girl I did NOT want it above my chin...instead I got a butch lesbian cut. In fact those were the first words out of Justin's mouth when he saw it. "You look like a lesbian." :/ I also feel your pain on the big, painful zits! Holy cow I have had some beastly ones lately! I'm glad you got it somewhat fixed though. At least it's hair and we know it grows back, right?! Be nice to yourself and know there is so much more to you that makes you awesome than a head of hair!

Holly O. said...

Be nice to yourself. That is exactly what I want to say too. I LOVE YOU.

Yes, I'm yelling that.

Heather said...

Totally sucks! I wonder if she lost her job?