before becoming a mom, i didn't worry about stuff. sure i stressed from time to time, but now - it is different. i worry. i think about situations and feel panicked.
i worry about awful things. things that won't likely happen but if i let myself, i could cry. it can be overwhelming. i won't share my list of things that i think up, but mostly because i'm trying not to dwell.
i want good things for my son. i want health and happiness more than anything. i'm pretty willing to do anything to make sure he has those things.
people tell me to calm down. and believe me, i try. i pray for it even, a peace of mind.
i don't think it is normal to feel a little relieved when the baby cries in the night - phew, he's still breathing...
i think i might like him too much. i keep trying to tell myself that someday he's going to talk back to me and say rotten things and i'll want to thump his mug.
i don't think there is anything more important to worry about though.
advice, anyone? i'm not seeking "hayley, you're doing a great job" comments. seriously. i want something more along the lines of "pull your head out of your butt and relax." thanks.
last part of this confession: eating helps calm my nerves. i'm never going to lose weight.