hair rant

note to self: when you're feeling fat and frumpy, a hair cut doesn't fix the problem.

lately i've been feeling frumpy. and i know it is all my fault - i'm not trying to blame anyone here. i'm just venting. i know it is my fault for not taking the time and putting forth the effort to get dressed everyday. i know it is my fault for putting all of the food into my mouth & not losing weight. 

i could argue here that things are difficult with the getting dressed because of our tiny little house and my husband working from home and how sometimes it is just impossible to space out work calls, blow dryers, napping baby and treadmill time. but i won't. if i really wanted to, i'd make it happen. but it is hard. in my defense. 

i was growing out my hair. i don't know why, just for shits and giggles. probably the biggest reason why: i hadn't gotten a hair cut since before mikey was born. i got my bangs trimmed right before he was born and then again about 6 weeks after he was born. and then nothing since.

garrett was due for a hair cut & i've finally convinced him to go to my girl. costs more, but better haircuts are worth it, we've decided. so i thought, "maybe a haircut will help fix some of my frump."

wrong. wrong. wrong. now, it is just shorter. and harder to just throw up in a pony tail. and i have bangs again. so i'm going to have to go through that stage of growing 'em out again. at some point. drat. i love the girl that does my hair, she's hilarious & all... but sometimes i don't feel like she listens. she doesn't always do what i tell her i want her to do. you know? i kinda feel like i've always got some variation of the same style. 

this just wasn't what i needed for the frump factor this week. especially since i've got crazy a dry patches of skin all over my face. and my face is super round. and i'm sick. 

there was this old lady that used to teach at my school. she was senile. should've retired from teaching about 10 years before she did. she was one of those people who would ALWAYS tell me i looked sick or tired. you know, she meant well, but still. it is rude to tell people that they look sick/tired. a couple of weeks ago, i was bored on a friday afternoon, so i went to visit kimmy. just so happens, this old lady was also there that day, too - visiting people. kimmy and i were laughing because i hid from running into this lady in her room. cause i said, "my self esteem just can't handle a joanne comment."

anyway. venting over. my hair is ugly. i'm squeezing into my clothes still. i'm frustrated with myself in so many ways. i'm really sick of being sick and not being able to take anything. i don't love the fact that all i want to do is go finish off a pan of brownies right now. doesn't help the situation. 

thank heavens that my husband tells me i'm pretty everyday, even when i haven't shower, i've got tissues stuffed up my nose, my bangs are in greasy clumps and all i do is groan. i'm a real treat for him, yeah! [i put on a little makeup in the afternoon yesterday, i was trying to class it up for him. but he still made dinner.] and luckily, mikey still grins a whole body grin when he sees me. at least my 2 crazy boys love me. cause lately they're the only people who could possibly get excited to see my ugly mug.


Jori said...

I know you aren't fishing for a pep talk but you've got some dang striking eyes. I really think you are darling. You look so happy, and that makes you even cuter. My hair sucks right now I never get up to Utah to my guy. So I get it done here. It is so eighties rocker right now. Tell old decrepit teachers to suck it, what's her deal piping up? No thanks to old and tired comments.

Elizabeth Ward said...

I feel your frustration on every point. With every hair cut I have gotten in the last 10 years I some how expect to loose 10 pounds and have my face clear up. In fact more than half of those haircuts made me look 10 pounds heavier and I probably got more zits too.

The worst of those many hair cuts was just before Brother was born. Huge mistake! I think about that all the time and it has been almost 2 years. I hope that I always remember that so that I don't ever do it again.

I think that you are cute. Some day your body will be normalish (babies do permanent damage) again just in time to have another baby and start all over. Being a Mom is amazing and that makes up for everything else... most of the time.

You should hang out with me more. I make everybody look good.

garrett said...

You are cute and I love you. You are your own worst critic, and everyone else things you're cute, too. Especially when you've got Mikey in your arms.

Holly O. said...

Hayley. Fire her. I'm serious. You can still be friends. G can still go to her. But your hair girls should REALLY listen to you. And she should work with your face and give you/recommend cuts that work with your face shape.

You are a doll. Everyone else is right. You are so happy in your life, who the heck cares (besides you) if you have greasy bangs?

That being said, it is important for you to feel cute. Do those pants I gave you fit you? Have G's mom make them shorter!

Aimee said...

My hair girl doesn't listen to me either... boo. I feel your pain.
One of my best friends might still be doing hair, but she's in PG. If that's not too far for you, and you're cool with getting your hair done outside of a salon, I can get you guys together. She's awesome. (I'm trying to get her to come out on B's freq flyer miles to do my hair this spring... she's good.)