last night was a hard night. i took tylenol before bed. before being pregnant, i didn't hesitate to take a pain reliever if i had an ailment. headache, muscular, etc. now - i really have to be miserable. in fact, i haven't taken anything since i stopped all pain killers, including tylenol, a little over a week after mikey was born. via c-section. [hells bells, i don't even drink dr pepper anymore, but that's another story.] my hips have been hurting so bad the last few days. i don't know if it is because i haven't been moving enough. i don't know if it is because i spend a lot of time sitting and nursing every day. i don't know why. but it was bad enough last night for me to take 2.
then... mikey woke up 3 times and for the day at 6:30ish. to me, when you wake up a lot during the night, 6:30 is like waking up another time. so really, he woke up 4 times. but we didn't go back to bed. well, i didn't. he slept while i showered and got ready for the day. that kid. 4 times? what the hello shock to my system!!! for the last month, he's been sleeping through the night, sometimes waking up to feed at 4 o'clockish, most of the time not at all. i know we were spoiled. i know most babies don't do this so young. but when you're an old hag like me, sleep - even if it is an early treat - is sleep & my body gets used to it. garrett, being the best husband ever that he always is, got up with him the first time... the second time, i fed him... garrett did the third time - i think he was absolutely exhausted but i was starting to cry because i hadn't fallen back asleep since i fed him & by then my painkillers were worn off...
i think it might be time to start ferberizing him. i have been thinking we wouldn't have to do that... and gladly. cause i was a little terrified at the thought of letting him cry it out. but after last night... i think i'll be turning off the baby monitor and letting him work it out on his own. of course, we'll still put him to bed the way we do - cause that hasn't become a problem yet. but... he shouldn't need to eat in the night [or should he? am i the meanest mom ever?] and will have to figure out how to do it on his own.
please bless he doesn't get his hand out. cause this baby still needs to be swaddled to sleep well. and when he gets his hands out, he wakes up. [in fact that was one of the reasons he woke up last night...]
here's a sad admittance: i have been exhausted all day. i got a little nap in late this afternoon, thank heavens. but at lunch, we had just sat down to lunch and we were discussing the ferberizing that is going to start soon & mikey decided he wanted nothing to do with his swing... he wanted to eat and he wanted to eat right then and there. i put him off to eat my lunch... but the last few bites - i was crying, too. i think i feel so guilty for letting him cry just so i could eat. or i might have felt guilty for knowing what i'm going to be doing to him... i finally picked him up & cried with him for a minute or two. i think garrett was a little scared of me. i know, i'm spoiling him, but i just love the h-e-double-hockey-sticks out of him and can't stand to see him cry when he shouldn't have to. those plans of mine of being the tough mommy - gone. i'm such a sucker. until we're going on two nights of no sleep... :)
in honor of my favorite show on tv, i give you ferberizing lily a la mitch and cam:
and yes, i am cam. i wanted to be mitch, but instead, i am cam. sad.