7.21.2009

the 4 reasons why i'm not pregnant

i was asked 4 times if i am pregnant today. wow. i mean, i know i'm a chubber & all... but seriously? i was under the impression that its not kosher to ask someone if they're pregnant or not.

Reason #1. i drank a dr pepper early this morning. cause the week before school starts requires that sort of thing. when our lunch didn't start until well after 12.30, i was jittery. mainly cause i'm usually off of caffeine now. but it could also have been because 12.30 is a late lunch for me! i made a side comment to kim that i was feeling jittery & someone who overheard that asked me if i was pregnant. um, no.

Reason #2. at lunch, they opened the pop machines & i grabbed a barq's root beer. someone asked why, i said i didn't want more caffeine. someone else said, "i thought barq's has caffeine." not in utah, i explained. i still looked on the can though to make sure i was right... someone sees me looking for caffeine on the can & asks me if i'm pregnant. um, no.

Reason #3. after lunch, i announced to kim i have to pee. cause i have now had 2 sodas & a whole water bottle to drink. someone overhears me telling kimmy that i have to pee & asks me if i'm pregnant. two lessons learned here. don't announce things to kimmy, especially regarding my bodily functions - most definitely not when others can hear & also, maybe i need to lay off the drinking. but on the pregnant issue - still -um, no.

Reason #4. i needed to meet with a man teacher at my school this afternoon on school stuff. we talked about working while we were both in the workroom. i had crap in my hands that i needed to drop off in my classroom... i said i'd meet him down in his room in a few minutes. when i got down there, he wasn't there. so i went and sat in the hall, waiting for him. this is the 2nd day back to work for teachers. yesterday i worked 12 hours & a lot of it was moving furniture, etc. hard, mentally exhausting, long a$$ days. by nearly 5 this afternoon, i needed to sit on the floor. my back hurts, my feet hurt... when i got up, apparently i "waddled" cause he asked me if i was pregnant. um, no.

I AM JUST CHUBBY! PLEASE, EVERYONE MAKE NOTE: WHEN I AM PREGNANT, I'LL TELL YOU. DEAL?

and yes, every single time someone asked me today, my response was "nope, i'm just chubby!" and yes, people felt stupid & started backpedaling, and yes, i'm ok with their stupid feelings & attempted cover ups. but no, i didn't get all feelings hurty. just slightly irritated by #4.

good.night.nurse.

15 comments:

garrett said...

I kinda wanna punch those people in the face... I swear, old teacher ladies think that any sniffle, trip to the bathroom, slight headache, or uneven fingernail clippings are a sign of pregnancy.

Those same people might think I'm 14 months pregnant. I drink caffeinated beverages on and off. I waddle. I pee. My belly is QUITE a bit bigger than yours. I must be preggers, right??

"Good night nurse" for sure. Love you, Hayley. Glad you didn't get your feelings hurty. Or I really would have to punch some faces.

Suzanne said...

Let's just start the rumor that I'm preggo. Then nobody will have any time to gossip about you or anyone else. Sorry people are dumb :(

Kristin Jones said...

Oh. My. Gosh.

Jan said...

What I love most is Garrett's response. He's awesome. (you knew that already!)

And when you're pregnant, I'm sure we will hear. Till then, everybody needs to just shut up.

TheFirstWard said...

I make at least 4 trips to the "P" room everyday at work, I'm more than chubby and I'm tired most of the time. And, no I'm not pregnant either. When I am, I too, will let everybody know!

Love ya Hayley!

Jori said...

I love "good night nurse!" I had one of Ryan's cousins point at my belly a couple of years ago and said "tell me about the babies" Like okay jackass, you think I'm packing twins?? Seriously unless you see the baby crowning pipe down!

J+S said...

I get those too. Gotta love it. People never never ask someone if they're pregnant. If they want tyou to know they will tell. you. It was also great in my situation when I could say, "well not any more."

Heather said...

OMGOsh I was wondering if you were pregnant?? Kidding!! FUR RUDE! I'm glad you had a good come back and that they felt just a little bit stupid, they deserve it!! You could also say... "NO, why are you?" hahahaha

Courtney said...

Haley, you're not alone. I get asked if I'm pregnant all the time now. And I have to keep telling people no!! I wondered why all of a sudden it was okay to ask that just because I'm married now. CRAZY!! Krista told me last night that she gets it all the time too. Must be some stupid newlywed thing. Next time I get asked, I'm going to steal your response! :)

Jamie said...

lol I ask people that all the time due to my work situation.

Anyhow I have to laugh because I have learned you just don't ask people...so this one day I asked this patient if she was pregnant and her mother got all huffy about it and said can't you tell she's 6 months (I don't know maybe it was 7 or 8 months) pregnant??? Hello, no, not when the woman is like 300 lbs.

Julie said...

That's great- loved your response. When I was at Jordan Hills I got asked that question a lot too- so when I was pregnant it was hard to lie and yes everyone knew about it early on... Although now I have a kid and I still get asked a lot if I am pregnant (even here on the other side of the country) crazy! I am going to start giving people your response and see how it goes... I will let you know. You are adorable...

Holly O. said...

Shut up and just ADMIT you are pregnant. hahahaha

Holly O. said...

But for reals, that is totally obnoxious and I'm sorry it happened.

tiburon said...

I totally agree - people should just shut there yap holes.

Any retort you give them is well deserved.

tiburon said...

And I like that Garrett wants to punch people