i saw juno. i laughed. but i cried more. jennifer garner's character was hard on me. a)she was let down by her loser of a husband - i could relate... b)she wanted to be a mother so bad, & couldn't - i could also relate. big fat cry baby hayley.
this weekend, i saw baby mama. tina fey's character couldn't get pregnant. she wanted kids. i cried some more. even bigger & fatter cry baby hayley.
don't get me wrong. i'm happy for people when they have kids. i'm not that sick & twisted, that i begrudge someone their happiness. i want kids. not student kids. babies of my own. it breaks my heart when i realize that there's a very good chance that i won't be having kids of my own. luckily i have sisters who let me "steal" their babies. they let me spoil their babies, hog them & hold them, bathe them & snuggle them. see, unfortunately for me, i've been "baby hungry" my whole life... i just wasn't husband hungry when there was a pool of decent husbands to pick from. ahhh... regrets...
i wish i could say this isn't a heart ache to me. but it is. this morning, i was looking at someone's blog & she has a little baby. before i knew what was going on, tears were welling up & i felt envious. i'm sorry, i don't mean to be a complainer, just needed to get that off my chest this afternoon.