3.07.2008

trials of a standby passenger

ok. please keep in mind that it is now 4:42. I started turning on the computer at 4:05. my parents have dial up. still. and. it. is. slow. this week my mother is amending that problem. and rest assured that i might not have the patience to get back on a computer until then. holy frustration!

also, bear with me. i got up this morning at 4:00. and i was doing ok until our gate agent was a lil "bitchy" (even my mom said she is one) and then i wanted to knife her face off & keep going with anyone who got in my way. i shouldn't complain about the lady - she did get me on the airplane. the first one, too. so ned and i board & approach what is supposed to be our 2 seats, next to each other even. a nice little foreign couple and their baby are sitting in our seats. so my mom starts to say "those are our seats" and they start in on "we need to sit together because of the baby" ok. fine. take care of that before you board. geez louis paying customers, you have that right! don't scare some poor little standby passenger into thinking they're going to have to get off the airplane. and don't just take someone else's seat. ask. politely. and also - don't just plump down right whereever you feel. at least sit in one of your assigned seats. seriously. i can handle foreigners. but i can't handle them thinking they can just do WHATEVER the heck they want. not following any rules, yelling all throughout the airplane just so your friggen little baby won't cry. and don't get me wrong - i'm not a baby hater on airplanes. i don't hate the baby on this one. i hated the parents. the mom wasn't yelling in anger, she was yelling in obnoxiousness. cause apparently she didn't get that the people in first class and back trying to crap in peace didn't want to hear her all through the flight. and banging on the poor man in front of her's seat. man, if that were my seat she was banging, tapping, and basically riding the tray table - there would've been a hate crime. don't you worry though, dirty looks were definitely given. multiple times.

and then there was the "box lunch" that marleeny girl treated to. we didn't have time for breakfast & she was hungry, i guess. they have four different selections now, and you pay $5 and get this little box of joy. it was tasty. salami, parmasaen spread, crackers, my favorite applesauce, chips, and even milano cookies. momma so likey-ed.

luckily i had my ipod and my sudoku book with me. cause with coughy guy next to me, (who was also snarking) and the lady a few rows up who had the world's ugliest dreads that were so stinking ugly, were consuming me. i couldn't even sleep. much.

but now, i'm home. we had a bunch of errands to run before we got home. a trip to valli, where i was reconnected to diversity. and after near misses of a few pot holes bigger than my belly, (truly, some huge mofos!) we arrived to the library in safety. where both of the librarians greeted my mother with a warm "how was your trip?" (how embarressing is it when your mom tells everyone her whole life story?)

but i'm back in my childhood home. and i feel huge. i don't like that feeling. its great to be home, things have and haven't changed. but i feel like a giant walking around in a little dollhouse. why does that happen?

13 comments:

Tiburon said...

That sounds like quite the flight. You forgot to mention the part where you woke up in a panic ;)

Taking a plane trip with you would be fun!

Have a great time in Chicago - and please don't be a stranger!

Jan said...

That's exactly how I felt when I would go back to my parents house -- just like this huge person in their little doll house. Amazing. Have a great time!

Suzie said...

you should write a travel log for an airline ad.
classic description here.

Mom said...

She was right on... I'm still laughing.

Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
100 Percent Cottam said...

standby does suck totally. but i love your stories. glad you had the death rays working. sounds like they were in order. have fun at home!!!

Emily J. said...

Oh man I hate flying stand by, but you survived! My parents have dial up too, oh man it is soooo slow I feel your pain!

Shelley said...

I feel the same way about my elementry school, and my parents' house in utah... I just feel so huge!

Anywho, Have fun in Chi-Town! Take lotsa pics!

Jori said...

That is so funny Hayley! I was just talking about this very thing with somebody. Houses seem GIGANTIC when you're a kid. I hope you have a great time with your parents.

Heather said...

I wish I was there with you guys. Last time I was at that library, my cell phone rang, and the librarian asked me not to talk on my phone in the library. Wellllll.....

Brittany said...

I flew with American last time and it was such nightmare, and I wasn't standby. Plus we had to make an unscheduled stop in Denver to change a filter and they wouldn't let us off. A 3 1/2 flight turned in to over six hours. We were with the kids and they didn't give us any food. I will never fly American again!!

Dad said...

wa, wa, wa

Melissa said...

Wow that flight sounds like quite the adventure:) I bet you gave that lady some crusty looks.

Glad you are back home...say hello to Chicago for me.