2.20.2008

for clarification's sake & other random bits

i was thinking about what i said in my last post & i just wanted to clarify something. i don't think I'm a cynic about everything in the world. mostly just love & romance & the chance of finding it in this day and age. that's the part i want to do better at. being less cynical about myself having the chance to find it. its just really hard when i see the "meat" out there. i do realize though that i'm probably way more sarcastic in everyday things than is healthy. but i hope i'm not too much of a complainer. i think sometimes i just need to vent & i have found that blogging has helped me vent (as its purpose is mainly a journal for myself) and vent to an audience that is not the person's face who ticked me off. so. anyway - i do want to be less of a cynic. and more of an achiever.

last night, i was on the phone with Megan. She called to tell me some good news. I was super hungry right when she called. and then I got super excited for her. So during our conversation, I managed to put a dent in a bag of chips from chili's & take a chunk out of some leftover Valentine's frosting. Whoa on the sugar overload. For someone who's cut out mass quantities of sugar in her diet, my body definitely went into heart-racing, sugar processing overload. for a while, i was even shaky. and definitely nauseated. who'd have ever guessed that my body wouldn't be used to something so simple as delicious frosting?!? it kinda makes me proud & excited - while at the same time, completely shocked to realize that my habits are changing. when i do eat junk, i don't finish off the whole package. i just eat a couple of bites. this is a big change for me. and - this is even bigger. when i do drink the dr - i enjoy it way less. i still love the taste. don't get me wrong. but i don't like the immediate bloating i feel & the burpy-ness that never bothered me before.

and last but not least - my "stinky" kid. boy, do i have a story here. every once in a while, i catch a whiff of one of my kids that I find incredibly offensive. (i suffer from sensitive nose syndrome - thanks dad!) this whiff is not just someone's smell. its rank. its putrid. its unacceptable. it smells like someone hasn't bathed in weeks, nor brushed teeth, nor wiped their butt. i've given the "everyone needs to go home tonight & take a bath & wash with soap & then put on clean clothes in the morning" speech before. i gave it last week. someone smelled rotten. i had a feeling it was one of two kids. whoever it was, it worked last week. i never quite pinpointed the culprit. but yesterday it was back with a large and in charge force. it made my eyes water it was so bad. a few dry heaves. so i gave the speech again. then i walked past a kid & knew immediately who it was. a few minutes later (after i'd stopped gagging) i pulled him aside & very quietly talked to him about how I thought he was the "stink problem" - don't worry i didn't say that. but i told him that he needed to take a bath again, and put on fresh clothes. now. mind you tomorrow starts two days of parent teacher conferences. so my kids took home their goals to set last night. they have to set 2 goals. they brought them back to me today. i got this child's paper back & there was something half erased on his paper, what appeared to be a third goal. he's not known for his superior spelling, so i couldn't quite make out what it said. so i called him up and asked him to explain. he said "oh, that says toilet habits. but i don't want it on my report card. but we're going to work on it." i was like "what?!?" so he explains "well, i'm not very good about wiping. and sometimes i just go in my pants cause i don't make it in time. but i'm going to be better about it." so then i felt this dread, cause i wondered if i have not let him go or something, causing him to have accidents. he clarified. no - its not because i won't let him - its out of sheer laziness. oh my gosh. i wanted to slap him. I DIDN'T. i left it at "that's a great goal. and please do, work on it" and then i sent him back to my seat and had a "moment" - to collect myself. cause i wanted to vomit my guts out at the thought of someone being so lazy they'd actually shit them self. man on manachevitz. i was grossed out.

13 comments:

Suzie said...

oh hayley. you so crack me up.
you poor, poor girl with a stinky classroom.

maybe some wet wipes in the bathroom for a little sponge bath?
sheesh. what grade do you teach?

Hayley said...

i teach 2nd grade. rar! :)

Kristin said...

Oh man, I just laughed out loud. Teaching the older grades, I had the BO to the 10th power, so all those kids were placed strategically on one side of the room...far away from me and my desk!

Christina said...

Oh, Hayley. Yuck. Hard to believe people really can operate that way. And yes, I do know a thing or two about the power of stank in a classroom, but I don't think I ever had a student take it to that degree.

tara said...

hayley you are JUST what I needed tonight. You made me laugh out loud. Twice. And NOW again, just thinking of the last few sentences of your post.
I dig you. Sorry you've got a sharter in class.

100 Percent Cottam said...

what would i do without you to provide my nightly rolling on the floor????? you are a good woman!

Heather said...

That is sick! But, that is a worthy goal, not to poop on yourself...for Hope maybe :)

Tiburon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tiburon said...

I get up every morning, breathe in and out all day long and pray that I don't poop myself. You make me laugh so hard Hayley. You make me want to get a redo on the 2nd grade just so I can have you for a teacher. Although I imagine that your wit and spunk are lost on those blasted 7 year olds.

Jan said...

You are awesome. Teachers have to deal with stuff you would never in your life assume it would be their responsibility - but it seems to be. I love the suggestion about wet wipes -- maybe just in your desk. I actually have some Cottonelle ones that came individually wrapped --- that might help.

Schagel Family said...

Don't you think that the kids mother would teach him a thing or two. That is definently an important one to teach at an early age , like when they get potty trained. I love hearing about you teaching stories. they make me laugh.

Emily J. said...

Oh yuck! Even my my two year old who will NOT pee in the potty, will poop in the potty. Nasty!

Melissa said...

Man you are cracking me up! Hopefully that little "stinker" will clean his ass soon :)