5 days and counting

*i only graded half of the papers i should've graded tonight. but i had a lot. my pile is a couple inches deep. at least i did some. oh well. i'll get caught up tomorrow.

*i had a good weekend. a couple opportunities to get together with some friends. good talks. good laughs. i'm so thankful for my friends. i have my family. i love my family. but i don't have my own family. my friends become that family. i am so lucky to have both.

*i go off track on friday. during this time off i'll be heading to st. george & chicago. i'm very excited for this trip. i love going home (to chicago) and i love being with my parents. and i love getting time with my bubbies.

*kinda had a hard day today. i don't love going to church alone. i am kinda struggling with being single today. or lately. i've been putting forth effort on lds singles.com. its getting me nowhere. i hate going to church all by myself. i wish i were just strong enough to not be bothered by it, but i'm not. then i talked to my dad. he knew could tell something was wrong - due to his freaky ability to hear something wrong, even when you don't say it. so i started crying. actually cried a lot today, at different times, couldn't really help it. people just don't understand it. not unless you've been going to church by yourself for the last 8 years. and i hate to admit it, but i'm feeling bitter about vehia today. when i feel lonely, i feel hurt - unfortunately. and i'm trying to appreciate what i have, not dwell on what i don't. but sometimes its hard. but i had my mopey day. i'm going to keep my chin up. and i'll keep on truckin. and i'll keep making the effort to go to church - cause i know that's where i need to be.

*i learned how to play sudoku today. whoa. what an addictive game!

*i decided on the little purse charm. i'm excited. it was a tough choice. really want to go on a binge & just get them all. but i exercised a little bit of self control.

*i've decided that i can't stand people that are fake. or who pretend. its manipulative & i have no tolerance or patience for it. i have no desire to have people like that around me. and that's all i'm going to say about that.


Shelley said...

It sucks and it IS hard. I've been going to church alone for... 3 years or so now... and the only reason its not longer is because for the first few years I was married, it was WAY too hard, and I just didn't go. At least you're stronger than me in that regard. It's easy not to go. I've been there.

If it helps, I share in your bitterness too. Even towards Vehia. :)

As for your charm, I like the sunglasses & baby turtle still. But the purse is very cute. :) Nice work.

I couldn't agree more w/ the fake people thing either. Well put.


Jori said...

Hayley, you are doing your part it will all work out. It sucks for sure, but it will all be okay in the end. You are awesome and will be blessed with a great guy.

Christina said...

I totally agree with fake people. They make life so much more miserable for the rest of us. I am sorry you're going to church alone. I have many a single friend still, and I'm not much younger than you, and I know it's got to be hard. Feel free to vent away- it's your blog, and everyone who reads it cares about you and what's going on in your life, even if some parts are just not so fun. Luckily, no terrible trots reported in this post. ;)

I read The Book Thief a few months ago, I just need to review it so I can lead the discussion on it tomorrow night since I chose the book. I'm excited to discuss- I hope some of the pansy readers in my book group made it through. I'm in Lehi so it probably will be closer for me to schlep my kids to the bookstore, but thank you for your offer!

Holly O. said...

You will love the purse! I'm sorry you had a rough weekend. And I'm really happy you'll be here before you know it!

Melissa said...

A good cry does wonders for the soul...love ya Hayley!

Mom said...

I really like the purse too. Looking forward to your birthday on Monday and spending some serious time with you. Chicago here we come.

Schagel Family said...

Sorry about your bad weekend. Everything will work out for you because you are so awesome. I am glad you get to go spend time with you family. Theres nothing like fam.

Julie said...

I'm sorry you had a rough weekend Hayley. If it helps, I think you are the cutest thing ever. You have the funnest personality and such character. I love talking with you. Keep being real!

Suzie said...

sorry you had a tough weekend.

You are the most authentic, charming person. And I barely know you.

keep your chin up kid. you are amazing and doing amazing things.

tara said...

love the purse charm. I hope you love it too.
I ditto jori. We don't know how or when, but things do work out in the end. The waiting is HARD. You're a rock star hayley:)

Tiburon said...

I feel for you Hayley. I know there is the perfect guy out there for you - he just isn't ready for you yet. Fake people suck. Mama no likey. I can't wait to get together on Saturday!

Heather said...

OH man, sorry you had a bad day. BUT I'm glad you discovered your love for sudoku. Addicting is right.