1.31.2008

sads & funnies

man - i'm on an emotional roller coaster this morning. I found a new student to our school (5th grader) outside my classroom this morning crying. I finally got out of her what grade she's in (No English) & started walking her over there. She was embarrassed. And NERVOUS. Luckily, when her teacher came out, she started speaking in pretty fluent spanish. So glad that poor girl isn't in my class, only because of the lack of communication. walking back to my room, i was a little overwhelmed for that poor girl. i wouldn't want to be in 5th grade, now in this day and age - let alone not speaking the language of everyone surrounded by me.

then, i come into my classroom & my sweetheart runs up to hug me, excited to see me. ahhh. makes my day.

then i was reminded that tonight is math night. so i'll be at school until 8 pm. arg.

then i bite my lip & its bleeding, alarming some of my students. and they just don't get that i can't put a bandaid on my inner lip.

then i check my email & got this from my friend robyn. i was almost in tears, cause i was laughing so hard at numbers: 6 & 9. enjoy.

Amazingly simple home remedies


1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

8 comments:

Tiburon said...

Those are seriously the funniest things I have ever read. I peed.

Sorry about the lip and the staying late...

Schagel Family said...

I am laughing so hard right now. Sorry you are having a weird day. I hope things get better.

Heather said...

Oh my gosh that was funny. I think I'll try number 6 next time I have a bad cough, I never thought of that ;)

tara said...

Oh man. 6 is easily my favorite. HANDS DOWN. thanks for sharing hayley. that was some good sheesh right there.

Mom said...

Number 7 sure makes sense. Your funnies made my day. Thank you.

Emily said...

So funny...I'm still laughing!

Kristi said...

That poor little girl at school, dadgummit. But dang, those home remedies just straight up made me laugh:) I loved it.

Melissa said...

Daily Thought was a hoot...thanks for the laugh!