11.23.2007

natalie made me...

Natalie posted about her theme for life or for '08 today. and i posted a comment in response. and i just got home from a trip to costco with holly & the babies. connor and i enjoyed a hotdog & some soft serve yogret. don't mind that we dropped the dawg on the floor twice. 10 second rule - we're still alive. on the way home we enjoyed a new little game about saying hello and goodbye to the moon. blowing kisses and waving goodbye. "see you later!" it was pretty sweet. i love that boy. i love how he says my name. "helly" it sounds like. so true, dude.

anyway, back to the point of this post. if you haven't read natalie's post, do it now. and read comments, so you know where i'm coming from. i'm happy in life. i'm single. i'd like to get married. i miss having a close companion. but i have many friends & things are easier in so many ways, i'm not going to lie to you. but the biggest thing is i'm happy. i chose to be. i could be down in the dumps cause i got used and abused. i could feel sorry for myself cause my life is not what i imagined, ten years ago. but i am smiling, for the most part. i love children, and i'd love to have my own. sometimes it makes me sad to think i very likely won't have my own. cause the thing is, i'm not going to settle, like i've seen so many people do. marry someone just for the sake of getting married, cause they're in their late 20's and feeling nervous about it. and then eventually (after a few kids) end up getting divorced. i vow here and now i'm not going to settle. life is good on my own. i have my own life. i get to sleep thru the night. (when my squeaky bed isn't keeping me up) i'm in charge of the remote. i can eat whatever i want for dinner. ok. enough. i'm not saying i wouldn't want to have a husband - i would. i'd love to have someone in my life who honors his priesthood, who respects me, who is an amazing father.

so i guess what i'm saying is don't feel sorry for me. and don't pressure me to get married just cause you are. its great & i know all that religious crap about eternal families. i want it. but if it doesn't happen, i'll be fine. and i'm not going to get married just so you're not nervous around me. thanks natalie, this venting helped me! :) but i really don't think i am holding any pent up hostility towards anyone in particular. just saying.

11 comments:

Emily said...

I agree, don't settle for anyone one less than you deserve. We all love you as you are. If it happens great, if not it sounds like you have a good life so enjoy your life in the now. Venting is a good thing.

100 Percent Cottam said...

yay, i'm glad you blogged this. as i e-mailed you, i've noticed this about myself and other marrieds. we seem to think that single people are miserable and will be until they get married. for some reason, we can't just accept that you're happy and fulfilled here and now. i need to be reminded of this. as i said to you, i think the reason is that we want you (all single people) to be happy. but duh - you can be and ARE happy. you're a great example of this. thanks for the reminder.

100 Percent Cottam said...

and i should add, i don't REALLY think you and other single people are miserable, but that's what my actions say sometimes.

Holly O. said...

For the record, I cleaned that weiner before we ate it. I cleaned it real good. And just get married to the next person who asks. That's what I think you should do.

brookey said...

right-o hayley butt. i blogged about this same thing a few weeks ago. if neither of us is spoken for in 10 years, let's just marry each other. glad holly cleaned your wiener.

Jori said...

Hayley you are the coolest girl EVER! I am right with you. Being single would be way better than being married to a jackass. If you aren't head over heels in love forget it. You are the greatest auntie in the world and have the opportunity to be SUPER close to your nieces and nephews. People who think marriage is going to solve all of their problems is SO ready for a let down. You have the same hang ups and problems after marriage. Happiness is such a state of mind. Great post you have got your head on straight for sure. I got so sick of being set up with weirdo's my stomach would turn when these creepy dudes would call me. Okay I am just a rambling now. You are the greatest-end of report.

Heather said...

Couldn't agree more with you. YOu are one happy girl :)

Jan said...

Hayley, you're one smart girl. My theory (in case anyone cares - -hahaha!) is that there are drawbacks to either status, single or married. You just have to deal with what you have and that's what you are doing. I guess my feeling is that there is someone very special for you and it will fall into place and probably amaze you. But the right answer is to be happy in your life till that happens.

Kristi said...

Ok, this very post is why I abso-freakin-lutely adore you, Hayley. Seriously. Good for you for not settling for any reason, whatsoever. I love your attitude about happiness, too. I love how you choose to be happy no matter what is happening in your life--and trust me, even if you're married you can be very unhappy. Marriage doesn't solve problems (not that I am unhappy per se, I am just saying...or that marriage is a bad thing...crap!!) I just mean it's all about attitude and you are right on, sistah! I love you!

Holly's comment made me laugh!

Dad said...

hells bells, you want me to see a movie?

Tiburon said...

Hayley I love you. I know we haven't met but when we do I may just make out with you. You rock!