10.08.2007

answers

oh people - brace yourself. and know that this will be watered down, slightly only because i know my father reads this. but like i usually say - if i have to feel it - you have to hear it. so stop reading now if you don't want to become very familiar with my ultrasound details.

first of all, they called me and told me to come in at 11 this morning & that around 9:30 i needed to drink 32 ounces of water & hold it until after the 'sounder. ok. i think normally drinking high volumes of something isn't the challenge, its the not leaking anything for 2 hours. i was on the phone with heather as i was pulling into the parking lot & mentioned to her that i might have to kill someone if they got in my way, i had to go & wasn't joking. so i waddled in & registered... blah blah blah. waited a total of 15 minutes. when i checked in, i said as nicely as i could muster "i don't mean to be difficult, but i have to pee really bad." she smiled (probably crossing her finger's i'd wet myself) and said "oh, i'll go tell them!" 15 minutes is a long time to wait when you're sweating, shaking and undoing pants due to the need to relieve yourself. 3 times i went in and relieved myself just enough to take the edge off. 3 times people. my eyes were turning yellow. when i finally came out the last time, they called me back & i got changed.

holly had warned me that the whole water drinking bit was cause it was going to be internal, & jennifer told me about her friend fred - so mentally i was prepared for that. i wasn't prepared to deal with the utmost desire to just let a river of urine flow any which way. i was slightly excited, but confused when she just did the ultrasound externally... except i wanted to punch her for pressing on my "guts." she monkey'ed around for a bit & then said "well, i can't get a good enough picture of your left ovary, so - i'm going to let you go to the bathroom & then we'll use a probe." I don't know about you - but i don't like that word. probe. ick. it definitely belongs on kristi's list :) So this time I actually relieved myself as much as I needed to - and finally stopped shaking. then went back in there and found out that she wanted me to "insert the probe" myself. i was critically thinking "what kinda half a-double-s joint is this?" i have to do it myself? do i get some sort of rebate this way??? nope.

now i'll spare you some details - just know that in the long run, they found a cyst on my ovary. it had burst and there was some bleeding. not much more they can do for me, i am to keep taking the painkillers. it should heal itself. if it gets bad again or worse, i'm to contact my doctor, see instacare again or if bad enough, call for emergency help. i'm relieved they found something & that i'm not dying. i'm glad that pain that i've felt all week isn't just curious. that makes me feel a little better. and the best news of the day is that i can go back to work tomorrow. i had an appointment scheduled for this afternoon, but spoke with the doctor on the phone & he says there's really no reason for me to need to come in again. so i'll save myself that co-pay.

thanks for all the well wishes - it made me feel a little better :)

16 comments:

Girl James said...

The casserole offer is still on the table. haha. Glad you're feeling better!

What the...with the stick it in yourself?! That's when I would've peed all over the stupid doc! What kinda craziness is that. They should just have take away kits you pick up at the front desk and do it at home anyway. STUPID!

Emily said...

Lovely, lazy doctors, you had to do the probing? Ick! What are you paying them for? to touch your hand and say..."there's not a damn thing we can do for you". Unfortunatley that is usually the case. Glad that you'll be on the mend soon and not miss anymore work!

Mom said...

Sounds like good news to me. Glad they found the source of the pain. I know in the past they have left you feeling like it was a waste of time. I can unpack my suitcase now.

Kristi said...

Hayley, I know I shouldn't be laughing this hard when you have felt like crap, but oh my!! I am still laughing over the whole "inserting your own probe" situation (and that word goes on The List fo sho!) I love your stories and I'm glad you got your innards all figured out. And hooray for painkillers!!!

Heather said...

Why would you need to insert the probe yourself...both insert and probe belong on the list...but anyway, why do you need to do it? That's weird, I've never had to do the dirty work myself. haha

100 Percent Cottam said...

okay, i'm so relieved!!! hopefully you'll be feeling better very quickly. enjoy those painkillers. vicodin!!! how i love you! sorry you had to insert your own probe. my oh my. that's a real bummer.

Jori said...

You poor girl, The whole bursting cyst thing is awful. Glad they got to the bottom of the problem. Seriously probe yourself?? What the?? Last time I had an internal ultrasound the doctor put a little condom like thing on the end and said "I believe in safe ultrasound." Hardy har har!

tara said...

umm...I thought teachers had GREAT insurance...with is with the "do-it-yourself" medicine? Isn't inserting your own probe against our religion? :)

i'm glad you got some answers hayley. I hope you start REALLY feeling better soon!

Miss Jones said...

the government has been raping teachers of our "great" insurance as well. 7 years ago when i started, it was great. now its just another molestation, like self probing. sad sad world.

Melissa said...

Oh I have just been laughing so hard at your post girlfriend! The probing part is the best...what is UP with that? I've never heard of someone being so lazy that they asked you to do it yourself. You were probably on candid camera...

Anyways, glad they found the source of all your pain. Keep taking those painkillers and feel free to wash them down with a good shot of whiskey...you'll be fine for morning!

By the way, bummed you are working tomorrow, we'll go to lunch soon...I'm holding you to it!

Jan said...

OK, Hayley -- I'm so sorry. But I'm laughing at Natalie's comment above when she said that it was a BUMMER that you had to INSERT your own PROBE! I'm such a dork.

Get better quickly!

Kristin said...

It sounds like the probing was a lot more traumatizing than the cyst! Holy cow!! Glad things are turning out to be okay.

Julia said...

hi hayley it's julia from texas. :) just wanted to let you know you're not alone..i had to go through this exact torture last week for the same problem. i just wasnt brave enough to post about it on my blog. you describe it perfectly. i feel your pain- literally! hope you feel better.

Julia said...

i do have to add that i didn't have it as bad as you..i didn't have to do any inserting of any probes on my own..the little old chinese ultrasound lady did it herself. she seemed shocked when i told her i'd never had "that" kind of ultrasound before! what, like everyone does??

Ashley said...

Hi Hayley, I'm just blog hopping. (it's what I do when my kids are sick and I am trapped at home ALL DAY LONG) I could not help but comment on this post. TMI but I always get cervical polyps...thankfully I have never had to PROBE myself. Who would of thunk it could be more uncomfortable putting something in then birthing something out. Man sure sounds like it.

Shelley said...

Hayls, I hope you're feeling better shortly. I'll keep you in my prayers! If you need Canadian drugs with codeine in it, let me know. I have a special stash. :) Love you!