ok. i'm a moron. in my last post, i meant to tell the story about last night @ the luau with the caramel dip. i also wanted to tell the story about the retarded girl & the fire... cause they both make me laugh.
(*Quick & Easy recipe for the caramel - 1 8 oz package of cream cheese, 1 cup brown sugar, 1 teaspoon of vanilla. soften cream cheese, mix. refrigerate first, if possible.)
so - one of the youngens, apparently didn't like caramel, and kept telling everyone that it was "gross," I had two people come up to me offended, saying "there's a guy who doesn't like your dip" i didn't care much, everyone's entitled to their own lunacy, right? anyway, it was getting dark & it was later in the evening. we were standing by the food. this punk kid, with a "jackass" jacket came over & pointed to the dip & said "that stuff - no good! don't bother!" I said, "oh really? i made it." he was so dumb. he said "oh, i just don't like caramel." i said, "i don't care, but you don't have to go around talking about it. keep your opinion to yourself." his reply, "i'm sure its good." perfect example of jackass. perfect example of "why do i have to get in people's faces?" situation. intimidate the hell out of people, that's my talent in life. (i think some of his spikes fell at that)
and the next story is quite entertaining. (also one of the biggest reasons of why I'll see you in hell!) this girl (there were many there though) was handicapped, some form of retarded, but also physically not quite there. She wasn't what I'd say a "champion walker." She was walking towards the patio, struggling... She approached the patio steps & needed help... so she grabbed a burning tiki torch. not just the tiki, but the literal burning part. i'm watching, from across the yard, in slow motion... already laughing. well, she ever so gracefully falls to the ground, and in the mean time knocks over the tiki... into the bushes. i'm watching in astonishment as the leaves are starting to spark. I couldn't move. But- I did do a little something to help prevent a yard fire. I grabbed Meeja, said "fire! fire! tiki torch!" and threw her in the general directions. oh my goodness. then the poor girl had the audacity to come sit next to me... to constantly remind me that i'm the devil & find rotten things hysterical. (i finally moved. i couldn't take it anymore!)