7.25.2007

i'm a menace in the pharmacy area @ target

incident #1 - heather, hopey and i are in the target pharmacy area. i was shopping a new sonicare toothbrush (the news on the root canal was fresh) and we saw that toothbrush sterilizer that holly blogged about a while ago (find it yourself, i'm too lazy to find it on her blog right now) WAIT... back it up. the same worker dude i'll get to in a minute already had noticed me when he came around the corner & i was sitting on the floor. i had hopey in the cart, but the toothpastes i was looking at were all on the bottom shelf, so i'd copped a squat (i'm lazy, don't ever tell yourself otherwise) and all of a sudden i heard "mam, are you ok? are you sick?" i turned around, cause there weren't other people around, realized that yes indeed he was talking to me & said "no, i'm fine, just lazy." he kinda looked at me, probably thinking "she's dirty!" so... back to the real point of the story... we're looking at the sterilizer. and heather points out that you're supposed to do it everyday. EVERYDAY? i never do it, let alone every day. so i said (probably way too loud) "so basically, you're telling me that i'm brushing my teeth with ass juices everyday?" and heather starts laughing... the man, who possibly was stalking me by then, comes around the corner again and says "what did you just say?" i said "you heard me!" he kept walking, head down low, shaking...

incident #2 - luckily a different target worker (i am positive they're not compensated enough for their work EITHER) was the poor bastard who overheard me having a conversation with heather... this time on the phone. i was explaining that i needed to drop off my prescription, which just so happens to be birth control. and i said "you know, so i don't get knocked up!" (which is a joke... its for hormonal controls... not births) well, i definitely had this morethanlikely peter priesthood's attention. then i had to say "that was a joke, for my sister" and he says "oh sure." good hell. (this incident just happened tonight!)

(i'm sorry for the crassness of this posting... luckily for me my parent's only check my blog every so often, so i might get away with this without getting into too much trouble!)

11 comments:

Heather said...

Those dudes are going to remember you and see you coming and run! I think the guy that heard the ass juice comment got a kick out of you though. The other one...I'm not so sure he was amused. Oh well you made me laugh.

Heather said...

You were quite the blogger tonight BTW.

Miss Jones said...

i know... i was doing a lot of work on my computer & it was my escape... oh well. just means i still wasn't finishing harry potter.

Jan said...

Oh, Hayley, you're still way ahead of me. I still hyaven't started Harry -- but I did finally finish the library books I had decided to make myself finish -- and now I'm on to Harry. As for Target boy -- I wish I could have been there! The ass juice comment was just something he wanted to hear you say again! :)

Jori said...

Oh boy, that just made me cackle. Now Kaitlin keeps saying over and over "what's so funny mom?"

Mom said...

Oh my. Maybe you should start shopping Walgreens.

Shelley said...

I like the "you heard me!" bit. They both sound like peter priesthoods. That's the thing I dislike about Utah. I imagine you get stared at a lot there. Sucks. You'd fit right in in Hamilton. My husband would even like ya. (He didn't like Vanessa so much. He hasn't met anyone else.)

Miss Jones said...

the ass juices guy was entertained by me, shocked as well, i'm sure... the guy last night was shocked, not judgey, just shocked... but i'm sure he would've not wanted me to be friends with his wife.

Kristi said...

Hayley, thank you for this post because I just laughed my can off...I love your sense of humor.

Chris * Natalie * Maya * Mason said...

geez, you're so crass, hayley. just kidding. i just like saying crass. and you said it first. you are a freakin' nut. do you think target stalker loves you? because if not, he has no such biz being all up in your kool aid. (if i stole the kool aid thing from you, i apologize. i heard it somewhere and really liked it.)

Girl James said...

i love when people overhear conversations! I think everyone should make a rule, to only speak crassly (word? not so sure..) in public as to pull the ole George W (shock and awe that is!). Glorious public outing Hayley!