5.24.2007

my roommate

holy hells bells... if kids are reading this - its going to be a rated r blog, so beware! last night, i was tired, and holly wasn't done on her computer, but she'd turned off the tv so when i got up to go to bed, she was slightly offended. so to fix the problem, i said "why don't you bring your laptop into my room" so she does. i was just getting settled into bed & she comes in & gasps. loud. so i said "what?" and she says "nothing" she takes after my mom like that - by giving something away and then thinking she won't get beat to death giving me a half assed answer like "nothing" so (me being as bright as I am) i followed my vision to where she was looking. there was the biggest spider i have ever seen in my life, inside a house for sure... i've seen a bigger one in a glass cage before. but that was always at a museum of some sort. this guy was in my bed room. and i could hear him growling. (ok, i've had a large spider in my own stairs at home, but back then, i had someone around to kill him for me. the spider, not the guy... that's a whole nother blog) so i said "get your camera!" and she wanted to get rid of him. that's where she's ultra sensible. my first thought is "i've gotta have documentation to blog about this" she wants to get rid of him. good girl. anyway - i grabbed her camera & took a couple. not great pictures, but hojo earned her keep this morning and zoomed in for me. i'm going to post the best picture of what we got. by the way she vacuumed the hell out of that spidey. i heard him zoom past me in the central vac tubey thingy. doesn't matter though, i still was terrified. most spiders are in committed relationships, don't you know. so i was waiting for his bitch of a girlfriend to come reak havoc on me all night long ~ i "slept" with the lights on. every so often i'd have a "seizure" like i used to do in hawaii when we'd lay out on the beach & i would shake uncontrollably every so often so i could scare away the sand crabs. i'm just a little bigger than that spider, but i didn't want him sneaking up on me in the night. mofo. ok. i'll try to calm down. here's my roommate:

11 comments:

Mom said...

Holy cow... call the exterminator. How big was that thing?

Heather said...

So did his girlfriend bite you last night? She is just waiting for you to let your guard down. Maybe she crawled into you suitcase to "get you" at your house. You killed her lover so she doesn't have anything to stick around for. Watch out Hayley.

Holly O'Keefe said...

She'll never be able to sleep now!!! This photo is zoomed in, it wasn't really this big, don't worry.

Kristi said...

That looks scary! You slept on the beach in Hawaii? Sweet! When did you live in Hawaii? PS__I saw your picture--Chuck is a hoax. You look great.

Mel said...

Holy shitness!! I totally think it's a poisonous spider. Ew! I'm not going to sleep tonight now. Nightmares! Nightmares! Nightmares!! AHHHHHHH. It brings me back to those awful evils spiders in my apartment. Looks slightly different, but it's just as scary! Now how am I suppose to clean, I don't want to touch in any creepy corners or anything.

Miss Jones said...

i lived in hawaii when i went to school there for 2 years. 99-01. graduated from byuh! i loved that place. i literally lived on the beach for two wonderful years! and- that chuckie picture doesn't do it justice, i promise!

Shelley said...

DUDE! NO WAY is that spider worse than a stupid crab! I'd take the crab any day. Now those flying roaches, I could do without. That spider is a freaking BEAST! That's the main reason I got married... and to a tall man too. He can both kill bugs for me, and reach things on high shelves. Other than that, men aren't that useful. ;) hehe I'm glad you got that effer! lol

Shelley said...

i meant to say no way is a stupid crab worse than that SPIDER! heh

Miss Jones said...

haha. i read it the "right" way. i know the spider is way way way worse than the crabs. i literally slept in a completly lit room last night. i didn't do anything but seize for the crabbies!

Chris * Natalie * Maya * Mason said...

holly, i would have expected you to take better care of hayley on her visit. to sic a gigantic spider on her? that's just wrong.

Jori said...

That is the freakiest, ugliest thing I have ever seen! I am going to email that pic to my brother. He is scard of spiders and will cry like a little girl.